In the last few days things have been trucking on along pretty smoothly. My blood sugar has been within the normal limits, Ian has been doing well, Serena is looking forward to starting school and embarking on a new adventure.....band!
The other day Serena asked me one of her deep thought provoking questions. If you've ever spent time around this child you know she's going to ask you a question that's going to stop you in your tracks.
Her question was this "How do homeless kids get school supplies?"
WOW. I explained that many organizations donate items for kids in need and sometimes the child's school will give them supplies. "Oh" she said. You may wonder why would a care free 11 year old child ask that kind of question. I know why. She overheard me complaining about having to buy school supplies for two kids. I'm solely responsible for making these purchases plus clothing, and quite honestly, its hard on me financially. My kids need it so I grundgingly do it. Looking at my daughter I realized she was feeling quilty in a way, like her needs were a burden. OUCH!!
I saw a quote posted on FB that read " I may not have everything I want in life, but I'm blessed enough to have what I need. I for that I am grateful."
I spend too much time thinking about what I DON'T have when I have so many blessings right in front of me.
I am blessed with....
two beautiful children,
a husband who loves regardless,
a fabulous job with benefits,
wonderful friends and coworkers,
a house (with AC) to live in,
a car that is drivable,
The list could go on.
And I gripe about school supplies. Glue and paper.
I continue to work on making changes in my life, inside and out....remembering I am too blessed to be stressed! And for that....I am truly grateful!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
FOOD and FAITH
It has been a week since my doctor's appointment. I'm glad to report that my blood pressure and sugar levels continue to decrease. Ive adjusted to this new way of life, however my children haven't faired as well. One unexpected side affect of not having junk food in the house is the kids are constantly complaining about being hungry, STARVING, in fact to use their word. If you've seen my kids then you know that they are quite healthy. What has happened is their snacking between meals has stopped so they are feeling hungry, all the time. Its been difficult for me because its innate for a mother to want to feed her children and whinning seriously grates on my nerves after awhile. But honestly, I see this as an opportunity to get the whole family to practice healthier habits, not just me. BTW, the kids are allowed a snack at 7:00.
I hate that it seems like so much thought and effort goes into what goes in our mouths. I love food, and for so many years I self medicated with food. Good food made me happy. And much to my dismay, I'm afraid my daughter is developing similar habits. That scares me. I know that our bad habits can't change overnight and it takes a lot of time, effort and prayer to change.
As I stated in my previous blog, I've been going to counseling through the Road to Recovery program at my church. What I didn't know prior to entering the program is that's its not just for people with drug or alcohol addiction but anyone who has "stuff" that they need to deal with whether its abuse, divorce, marital problems, negative self worth, ect. For me, fear and letting go of past hurts have been the areas that have been addressed. And through this most current trial I have learned an important lesson....I must have faith that my problems are in His hands and that not only will I come out of this situation a healthier person, but stronger in faith. Right now, my issues (and my family's) with food CAN and WILL BE defeated. As Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through him who strengthens me"
Many of you have shared your struggles with me, we all have weaknesses that we either choose to deal with or ignore. I encourage you to have faith, that you can and will defeat those things in your life that keep you from living your best life, the one God wants us to have.
I am determined that I will be happy with me.....even without a Big Mac in my hand!
I hate that it seems like so much thought and effort goes into what goes in our mouths. I love food, and for so many years I self medicated with food. Good food made me happy. And much to my dismay, I'm afraid my daughter is developing similar habits. That scares me. I know that our bad habits can't change overnight and it takes a lot of time, effort and prayer to change.
As I stated in my previous blog, I've been going to counseling through the Road to Recovery program at my church. What I didn't know prior to entering the program is that's its not just for people with drug or alcohol addiction but anyone who has "stuff" that they need to deal with whether its abuse, divorce, marital problems, negative self worth, ect. For me, fear and letting go of past hurts have been the areas that have been addressed. And through this most current trial I have learned an important lesson....I must have faith that my problems are in His hands and that not only will I come out of this situation a healthier person, but stronger in faith. Right now, my issues (and my family's) with food CAN and WILL BE defeated. As Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through him who strengthens me"
Many of you have shared your struggles with me, we all have weaknesses that we either choose to deal with or ignore. I encourage you to have faith, that you can and will defeat those things in your life that keep you from living your best life, the one God wants us to have.
I am determined that I will be happy with me.....even without a Big Mac in my hand!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
FEAR
Last Christmas my family had portraits done. When I saw them I was absolutely horrified. Why? I looked FAT! Charlie and the chocolate factory blueberry girl fat! So what was I doing about it? Absolutely nothing! I work full time, I have two kids, one with special needs, I have a house to clean, meals to cook, oh yes, and a husband. I don't have time to think about that. I buried my problems in fried chicken, potatoe chips and chocolate cookies.
Stepping back, I have a confession to make. I am currently receiving counseling through my church. I won't go into all the reasons why, but its safe to say me and my family deal with huge issues almost on a daily basis and thankfully the Children's Minister recognized that I was on the verge of a breakdown. It became crystal clear to me in my first session what my problem is. In dealing with life, I forgot about me. Me didn't matter anymore.
Last week my brother in law Jack came to visit/stay with us after many years of being away from the family. My husband's family came over, we grilled out and went to the beach. I don't swim nor do I get into a bathing suit nor do I use the bathroom until we get home. Eight hours. That's how long I held it that day. Within 24 hours I knew something was very wrong. My nether region burned like a fire cracker. I couldn't sleep at night and I was applying large amounts of desiten to try get by. After one week I could bear it no more. I went to the doctor. You see I hadn't been to a doctor in over three years. I didn't go simply because of FEAR! My Mom died at 40, leaving us kids without her and in my twisted way of rationalization, I figured I can't be diagnosed with anything if I don't go. Me didn't matter.
I sat in the doctors office and from the get go I knew it was bad.......very bad. My blood pressure was 175/100. Great. They took blood and urine and I waited. Yes, I had a massive bladder infection, yes my blood pressure was extremely high. But this time, there was something unexpected. I am also diabetic. There.....I said it. Normal numbers should be below 6, mine was 8. My sugar was 265. High, but not going into coma high. I am also anemic, and my liver enzymes are elevated. So I'm now on an antibiotics for the bladder infection, blood pressure meds, and oral meds to reduce my sugar. I was given a booklet about the low carb diabetes diet and I went home. I sat on my couch and moped. Then it hit me.....
In taking care of me, I need to take care of me! DUH! I need to take care of me so my kids will have their Mom at their high school graduations and weddings. I HAVE to do this. I have to change!
So.....I started this blog so I can share my experiences, good or bad. I need to write about this to motivate myself in making healthy changes.
In five days I've lost approximately 15 pounds. No soda, smaller portions, no second helpings and no junk food. I am on mission.....a mission to take care of myself and be a happier and healthier ME!
Stepping back, I have a confession to make. I am currently receiving counseling through my church. I won't go into all the reasons why, but its safe to say me and my family deal with huge issues almost on a daily basis and thankfully the Children's Minister recognized that I was on the verge of a breakdown. It became crystal clear to me in my first session what my problem is. In dealing with life, I forgot about me. Me didn't matter anymore.
Last week my brother in law Jack came to visit/stay with us after many years of being away from the family. My husband's family came over, we grilled out and went to the beach. I don't swim nor do I get into a bathing suit nor do I use the bathroom until we get home. Eight hours. That's how long I held it that day. Within 24 hours I knew something was very wrong. My nether region burned like a fire cracker. I couldn't sleep at night and I was applying large amounts of desiten to try get by. After one week I could bear it no more. I went to the doctor. You see I hadn't been to a doctor in over three years. I didn't go simply because of FEAR! My Mom died at 40, leaving us kids without her and in my twisted way of rationalization, I figured I can't be diagnosed with anything if I don't go. Me didn't matter.
I sat in the doctors office and from the get go I knew it was bad.......very bad. My blood pressure was 175/100. Great. They took blood and urine and I waited. Yes, I had a massive bladder infection, yes my blood pressure was extremely high. But this time, there was something unexpected. I am also diabetic. There.....I said it. Normal numbers should be below 6, mine was 8. My sugar was 265. High, but not going into coma high. I am also anemic, and my liver enzymes are elevated. So I'm now on an antibiotics for the bladder infection, blood pressure meds, and oral meds to reduce my sugar. I was given a booklet about the low carb diabetes diet and I went home. I sat on my couch and moped. Then it hit me.....
In taking care of me, I need to take care of me! DUH! I need to take care of me so my kids will have their Mom at their high school graduations and weddings. I HAVE to do this. I have to change!
So.....I started this blog so I can share my experiences, good or bad. I need to write about this to motivate myself in making healthy changes.
In five days I've lost approximately 15 pounds. No soda, smaller portions, no second helpings and no junk food. I am on mission.....a mission to take care of myself and be a happier and healthier ME!
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